Craigslist Personal Ad–LMFAO!

I found this today while trying to find some comic relief. This was posted in the “men searching for women” category. A 49 year-old in the East Bay. Enjoy!

I’m looking for an unapologetically slutty uninhibited woman who drinks to excess has a thirst for life, isn’t afraid to drive topless down Highway 1 exhibit her free spirit and doesn’t mind a guy who will never callvalues his independence.

I like cranking up the iPod so I can’t hear you whine while we’re hiking leg-burning slopes being in that zone where we’ve reached non-verbal communication, sex without a condom taking risks and dialing you up incoherently at 4 a.m. placing that phone call that makes your day.

You’re probably the kind of girl who had a lesbian experience with her college roommates has a wealth of life experiences, is eager to disrobe in front of someone other than your ho-hum husband try new things and loves to slave all day over a hot stove heat things up.

Me? I’m a well-hung thoughtful, 6-3 idiot white guy from 200-proof 100 % Irish stock with a college rap sheet degree and an aversion to commitment women who post ads stating “I’m comfortable in jeans or dressed up for a night on the town.” (You know how to change clothes! Way to rise above the crowd!). I have a lengthy list of immensely satisfied ex-lovers favorite activities, all of them except the one I need you for being outdoors.

On we go. I’ll get the ball rolling by posting a few pictures. Feel free to do the same if you reply. Just because you’re a techno-moron “new to the online thing” is no excuse. Translation for those educated in the Oakland school system: No pic, no reply.

I’m obviously the one in all the pictures. If you’re more interested in my alcoholic, erectile issue-laden bald friend, I’ll be glad to forward your email to his wife.

One thought on “Craigslist Personal Ad–LMFAO!

  1. Gives a whole new meaning to brutally honest. And funny too – who knew. I’m sure he’ll be a hit with all the pretty young ladies. Or then again, maybe NOT! Enjoy always, T

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