Snippet Sunday #19


Weekend Writers

Welcome, welcome to Snippet Sunday-ers and Weekend Writing Warriors.  This is the second to last snippet I’ll be posting from Swashbuckler. I’ll be finishing it this week then letting it sit for a few weeks before picking it up again. Please wish me luck to finishing this sucker!

The snippet below takes off directly from where we were two weeks ago. Hank, ex-husband, has filed for custody of Angela so that he name make her medical decisions. He had the papers served at Angela’s hospital bedside. Rodger, being the awesome man he is, went alpha on Hank and shoved him up against the wall when he walked into the room.

Hank’s face went white and he just stood there, limp; no resistance to satisfy Rachel’s visceral desire to see him beaten to a pulp.

“You think you know more than the doctors, huh? How could you do this to Rachel?” Rodger emphasized his angry words with one solid shake of Hank’s passive body.

“Rodger, stop,” Rachel intervened, coming to her senses. She needed a hero, but she needed a hero who was with her and not in jail for disorderly conduct or whatever this would be.

Rodger slowly backed off, glaring at Hank, his tensed fingers releasing the pressed linen just two men walked into the room. Hank’s lips to turned up into a ‘got-ya’ grin.

“Officers, this man assaulted me.”

29 thoughts on “Snippet Sunday #19

  1. Poor Angela. It’s bad enough to have someone take over your life, but to add the sneaky component really seems to make Hank the bad guy. What a position for a mother also.

  2. Oh crud. I hope Hank remembers hell hath no fury as a woman scorned…or a mother deprived of her child. Nicely done, Karysa. 🙂

  3. Hank is definitely not a “nice guy” and from this snippet – not sure about Rodger. Nice twist and timing with the officers’ arrival. Poor Rachel. Lots of emotion and character in this one short scene. Nicely done.

  4. I’m new here too, but this little snippet had enough packed in it to draw me in, The intensity of what was going on with the characters to begin with – being served, being in a hospital – was enough, then it ratcheted up with the two men going at each other. I didn’t expect Rodger to back off, but I really didn’t expect the gotcha move with the officer! Like Veronica, I’m not sure who’s the good guy and who’s the bad guy, and I think that’s because you presented the two men with more complexity than just cardboard characters. Nice snippet!

  5. I’m new to reading your story, but my first thought was the incredible injustice of being served while in a hospital bed… but then you drew me into the action and it makes me wonder if the good guy is really not the good guy… wondering if maybe there is going to be a dramatic revelation coming up…. very good!

  6. Intense! I sure hope Rodger isn’t hauled off to jail.
    I wish you luck in finishing this! 🙂

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