Snippet Sunday #20 The Car Accident

 

(Warning: I think this is a painful snippet, dealing with the fear of loss.)

Welcome, welcome to Snippet Sunday-ers and Weekend Writing Warriors.  Last Swashbuckler snippet (at least for now). I have three more scenes to write before I’m finished then I’m putting it aside. . . I’m ready to start something new which I’ll be posting next next.

WHY THE ANIMALS at the bottom of the post? This snippet makes me sad. And if it makes me sad, it might make you sad. And I didn’t want you leaving my blog sad.

Continuing in the hospital, a police investigator is telling Rachel about the car accident that put her daughter, Angela, into the hospital. If you feel sad after reading this, please check out the adorable animals to help you feel better. For those of you who wanted to know what happened between Rodger and Hank, you’ll just have to read the book when it comes out–or you can always volunteer to beta read for me. 😀

“. . . Then, as far as we can tell, both drivers lost control of their vehicles, crashing into other cars. In total, six vehicles were involved in the accident.”

Rachel’s mouth dried out as her stomach heaved. “Did anyone die?” she asked softly.

“Serious injuries, as you know,” he answered. His eyes glanced over at Angela and he cleared his throat. “But no, no one died. However, the driver of the oncoming vehicle is in critical condition and we’re not sure if she’ll make it.”

“That’s horrible.” Rachel’s eyes filled with tears at what could have been, what still could be. She grabbed Angela’s hand, needing to feel the warmth of her living body.

 

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36 thoughts on “Snippet Sunday #20 The Car Accident

  1. Glad to know Angela didn’t die. Cute animals at the bottom, but, I would have left the post as is, without them. Sad things like this happen every day I appreciate the realism of this snippet.

  2. I like the cute pictures…but I also think if your snippet is one of pathos and loss, then own it. We’re grown-ups. 🙂 I like to see how you evoke emotion, and how you bring us into her situation without turning it into a soap opera. Well done.

  3. Great emotion here (realistic), and you made me feel a real connection to the mother as she squeezed her daughter’s warm hand…. needing to feel the warmth of life. You touched on the greatest fear a parent can have, that of losing a son or daughter… nice snippet!

  4. I like realism in this, that’s why its so sad. But the animals at the bottom. Definitely made me smile!

  5. I really feel the emotion in this snippet… It’s amazing that she’s thinking of the other victims when her daughter is lying there–she must be one caring mom.

  6. I barely know you but I already like you. This was such a well-written scene, and I just love that you knew we’d need adorable animal therapy after reading it. Excellent author intuition there. 😉 Great job!

  7. Ah, that feeling of helplessness as a mother is awful…this snippet will stress any mom who has been through anything remotely similar.

    • Thank you for your feedback–I was thinking that would be the sentence that everyone would role their eyes at as I thought it sounded too cliched (and it’s a lot better now than it was). I’m still not totally satisfied with it. That said, no other description really held the same impact. . .

    • I’m sorry! I wasn’t trying to trick you with the adorable animals! I just didn’t want people leaving my blog all sad. Maybe I should have put them at the end of the post? I’ll go change that right now. . .

    • Cara, I’m so sorry. How horribly painful and sad.

      I struggled writing this part of the book b/c of the fear that it would actually happen, that my daughter would somehow end up in the hospital. Sure enough she ended up there (not due to an accident) and her father (my ex) and I ended up blaming one another. In the end she was fine, but I can’t even fathom what I would have done if I’d lost her.

      😦

    • It’s so fun to be the tease for once instead of being teased! Angela definitely didn’t cause the accident (she’s only 9). But Hank, on the other hand, is still not off the hook. . .

        • LOL! You’re absolutely right I don’t mention her age in this part. However, I’m not worried about it b/c Angela’s featured in the book enough, so her age is really clear. Plus, Hank’s suing Angela for custody so that would make her at least under 18. 🙂

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