July 10, 2011
So, today I’ve decided to share a bit of my WIP (Work in Progress), I had been planning on only sharing six sentences, but it’s just too delicious to stop at six. Constructive feedback is welcomed. Specifically what I’m looking for–realistic? Funny? Pacing? Grammatical errors?
Warning: this is part of a sex scene. Please don’t read if you are easily offended or, for some reason, grossed out with this kind of stuff.
What you really need to know: Rodger (from the UK) and Rachel are the main characters and they are on an eco-adventure tour. Rodger is in Rachel’s cabin. Alfredo is a guide on the tour who has taken a liking to our heroine. The snippet begins at the middle of the scene, just as Rodger has, well, gone down on her.
She heard a gasp and a cry leave her own throat. She grabbed on to Rodger’s hair, digging her fingers into his curls, holding on for the ride. Each tongue swirl, dip, and exploration of her pussy brought her even more pleasure, bringing her closer and faster to the edge than she had thought possible. Somehow her legs had circled around his shoulders and she had pulled him in closer. She vaguely wondered if he could breathe.
There was a loud knock at the door. “Good morning,” a male voice said. Rachel immediately pushed at Rodger to stop, trying to untangle her body from his. Rodger hadn’t stopped his ministrations, instead holding her down stubbornly. She quickly gave in. If she didn’t answer, maybe he’d go away. No such luck.
“Hello? I think you are there,” the man said.
“Yes?” she asked in what she hoped was a normal, non-aroused voice. She was so close.
“It’s me, Alfredo. Can I come in?” Rodger lifted his head, a frown on his face. Rachel groaned–at Rodger stopping or at the interruption, she wasn’t sure.
“No, I’m uh, still, uh, in bed,” she answered. “What’s up?” She giggled at Rodger’s muffled answer of ‘me’.
“We leave soon. Just wanted to tell you,” Alfredo said. Rodger went back to his job of pleasuring Rachel. She was quickly lost in the sensations again and forgot to answer. A moment went by, maybe two. Her body was racing to catch up to where it had been just seconds before Alfredo had knocked.
“Rachel, did you hear me?” Alfredo asked. She groaned, hitting the bed in frustration.
“Bollocks! Yes, she heard you. We’ll be down shortly,” Rodger bellowed, loud enough to cover Rachel’s gasp of horror. She leaned forward, slapping his head. “Ow! What was that for?”
“That didn’t hurt and you know it.” Rachel retorted. “What’s he going to think?”
He grinned, licking his lips. She almost laughed at her shiny proof of arousal that was slathered around his mouth and chin. “He’ll think you’re not available,” Rodger answered.
Rachel’s jaw dropped open and closed just as quickly. “I see, so this is a territory thing?” Rodger just wiggled his eyebrows in response. “And who says I’m not available?” Even though she knew it was true, she had to at least pretend she wasn’t completely smitten.
“Your body does,” he murmured and then continued giving that same body more attention.
Rachel sighed and plopped back on the pillow. “I don’t think I’ll be able to cum now.”
“I’ll take that bet,” Rodger said. To prove her wrong, he dipped a finger into Rachel’s juices, hooking it up to massage that lovely spot. As his tongue firmly worked its magic, his touch gently thrummed against her insides. Rachel was immediately plunged into pleasure so intense it was almost painful.