Thanks for stopping by to spend a few minutes of your Sunday with me. Your comments and thoughts are greatly appreciated.
This week’s contribution comes from my WIP, Swashbuckler. It’s about 3/4 of the way through the story and Rachel has arrived at the hospital.
“Yes? Can I help you?” the nurse asked Rachel when she finally reached the intensive care unit. Rachel opened her mouth to answer, but no words came out. Instead, tears began to drip from her eyes. Without missing a beat, the petite nurse pulled tissue from the box sitting on the counter and handed it to her. She didn’t tell Rachel to stop crying or tell her that everything was going to be alright. She just waited.
Here’s the link for prior week’s snippets from Swashbuckler.
Please go visit the other talented writers participating in Six Sentence Sunday.
Karysa Faire's Way 
Yep, great how we’re able to sustain the tear along with Rachael. It alludes to the idea that Rachel has a valid reason to cry.
That is really moving. I like that it’s somewhat subdued. The nurse just waiting instead of offering false cheer is really good.
Touching six. I hope everything turns out okay in the end.
Ooh, great six! Emotional. Makes me wonder why the nurse just waited.
I like this scene. Great work on the six.
Fantastic scene. Great job showing character emotion.
Thanks to everyone for stopping by and commenting. It means the world to me to feel the connection between us all. 🙂 Nothing better than getting feedback from authors I respect and love to read!
Oh, wow. Such a poignant six here. Strong emotion!
Hmm, loved the picture…and the words went perfect with it.
Aw, what a awesome way to grab a reader through emotion! Pretty incredible to bring that much emotion into 6 sentences. Makes me want to read the rest….no doubt about it!
Lots of emotion and tension in this scene. Good job.
Yes, I agree. Great touch with the silent, tissue-wielding nurse.
I’m curious to know what happened before this emotional scene. Well done!
Sounds like a great nurse. A very well done emotional scene.
Great emotional moment!
Oh, no! I need to find out why she is crying, and at the icu. I want to know more.
A wonderful descriptive piece. Very emotional. Thank you for sharing it with us. 🙂
How sad. That is an experienced nurse, waiting for Rachel to react in her own time. Would love to know what happens next!
Very nice. Like the no-nonsense, no-bs reaction of the nurse.
Touching six….made me really feel for Rachel. Nicely done.
Nice scene. Like that you don’t rush through the tears, that you let the moment hover for a while.
Wonderful six sentences! I wish you a ton of sales with your books! Happy Sunday and Happy Halloween!
Stephanie Adkins
http://stephanieadkins.blogspot.com/